"Blade" Haiku Review

Blade (Stephen Norrington, 1998): 

Snipes, we still love you
Pay taxes - then bloodsuckers
Will leave you alone

"The Howling" Haiku Review

The Howling (Joe Dante, 1981): 

Furries getaway
Carradine "chews" scenery
Dee Wallace needs Nair

"Run Lola Run" Haiku Review

Run Lola Run (Tom Tykwer, 1998): 

Predestination
Ain't shit to Lola.  Her deutsch
Ass runs that shit, yo! 

"Batman the Movie (1966)" Haiku Review

Batman the Movie (Leslie H. Martinson, 1966): 

Exploding shark scare
Do not blow up those nuns, dude!
POW!  BAM!  CRASH!  ya heard? 

"Face/Off" Haiku Review

Face/Off (John Woo, 1997): 

Does not matter who
Is wearing whose face; it is
Still overacting

"Annie Hall" Haiku Review

Annie Hall (Woody Allen, 1977): 

Afraid of lobsters?!?
Do not let "Deer Hunter" drive
You to the airport

"Beloved" Haiku Review

Beloved (Jonathan Demme, 1998):

Watch out now, Oprah!
That is not your old daughter
That some bad ju-ju

"X-Men" Haiku Review

X-Men (Bryan Singer, 2000): 

What a bunch of freaks
Do not touch my wiener, Rogue!
Stamos looks horny

"Deliverance" Haiku Review #2

Deliverance (John Boorman, 1972):

Weirdo plays banjo
Bestiality roleplay????
Bow hunt some bumpkins

"Godzilla" Haiku Review #1

Godzilla (Ishiro Honda, 1954):

Are you friend or foe?
Either way you could really
Use some binaca

"Harold and Maude" Haiku Review

Harold and Maude (Hal Ashby, 1971): 

I like death too much
Old lady lovin' for me!
Cat Stevens approves

"Star Wars (1977)" Haiku Review #1

Star Wars (George Lucas, 1977): 

Solo shoots first, yo
"Hidden Fortress" space knock-off
Phallic symbol spar

"The Exorcist" Haiku Review

The Exorcist (William Friedkin, 1973): 

Devil in Miss Blair
Peeing on floor - party foul
Kids....what can ya do?

"Star Trek (2009)" Haiku Review #1

Star Trek (J. J. Abrams, 2009): 

Green girlies or bust
Uhura is real fine, though
That ass lacks logic!

"Solaris (1972)" Haiku Review

Solaris (Andrei Tarkovsky, 1972):

Crazy cosmonauts
Never rid of that woman!
Space nastrovya?

"The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms" Haiku Review

The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms (Eugene Lourie, 1953):

"I saw a monster!"
"You did not see a monster"
Monster eats New York

"Dracula (1931)" Haiku Review

Dracula (Tod Browning, 1931): 

Renfield - refined taste
Creepy old dude preys on girls
Obsessed with hickeys

"Goldfinger" Haiku Review

Goldfinger (Guy Hamilton, 1964): 

James Bond cheats cheaters
Gold spray paint misogyny
Who named you Pussy?!? 

"Deliverance" Haiku Review #1

Deliverance (John Boorman, 1972): 

Up creek, no paddle
Dirty business "in the end"
Roughing it gone wrong